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"Hi, did Santa bring you everything you wanted?" Don't you want to hear about Atlanta?" Is Shirley there?" She's downstairs, talking to Suzanne." Then tell me. How did you make out in Atlanta?" I 'made out' really well. Everything went as planned." Ah! I heard you followed my suggestion and Shirley was okay with it." She's surprisingly okay with it, except that she's making me wear a condom." Bummer." Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about." Condoms? You haven't forgotten how to put them on, have you?" No, not condoms, she's a little too okay with it. In fact, she wants to hear all the details and reenact everything. It's getting kind of scary."I heard a long sigh."Sammy, you're so fucking self-centered it makes me sick. You have a girlfriend who not only understands, but she lets you screw around and then wants to do it the very same way with you. Don't you ever think of anyone but yourself?" What's wrong, sweetheart? What did I do?" It's what you didn't do. You called. 277. Not at all shabby."I'd like you to watch his swing," Surhoff said. "The little fucker is a natural. He's got a gorgeous cut at the ball, and good plate discipline, and he ought to be showing some real power. But he hit eight homers last year. Eight homers, as our every-day left fielder!" He hit almost .280, though, didn't he?" Yeah. His average was fine, but the kid's a banjo hitter, and he's got that sweet stroke, and he's just wasting it! He's denying it, and just poking at the ball. He thinks he's Arkansas' answer to Ichiro Suzuki, or the second coming of Josh Brennan. God, Zeke, let Josh hit singles for us! Tough Shit should be good for 30, 35 homers, with that stroke." He's not that big," I pointed out. I figured Williams to be maybe 5-9, 180, soaking wet."Ernie Banks was, like 180 pounds, too," Surhoff said. Banks was maybe a little taller, I think, than the kid is, but still. Ernie hit 47 homers one year. He hit forty-some another year, too. Hit over 500 homers, and he was.
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